Thursday, February 26, 2009

American Idol: A Best Legs Contest?!?

So how come American Idol judges never tell a guy that his singing was only so-so, but his "butt really looks great in those jeans?" So many times the judges will start a female contestant's negative critique with something along the lines of "you're a beautiful girl." The guys rarely hear those kinds of comments.  

Last night Jeanine Vailes was told by more than one judge that her legs looked great. Hello?!? She's trying to improve her singing. How is that possibly constructive? And how am I supposed to convince my teenage daughter that her thighs are just fine (and she doesn't even sing!).

You can see it all here (fast forward to 1:44)

Monday, February 23, 2009

Guest Nose: Erin Dionne

Today it's my pleasure to introduce Erin Dionne debut author of Models Don't Eat Chocolate Cookies--a book that deals with body issues front and center. 

Erin says:

Celeste, my main character, is "comfortable" in her skin at the beginning of Models Don't Eat Chocolate Cookies--meaning that she hides in big clothes and downplays her attractiveness because of her size. She wants to blend-in to prevent being teased, so she shuts down and creeps through her days avoiding conflict. It's a terrible way to live!

There are so many contradictory messages about beauty aimed at girls (and women) today that sap our self-esteem. We need to not only embrace our unique selves, but also support one another! Girls are the first to cut down other girls for not conforming to X beauty standard (too fat, too thin, big nose, big butt, etc). There's room enough for everyone's distinctive styles and body types. Let's start focusing on the positives, mmm'kay?

More About Models Don't Eat Chocolate Cookies

Thirteen-year-old Celeste Harris is no string bean, but comfy sweatpants and a daily chocolate cookie suit her just fine. Her under-the-radar lifestyle could have continued too, if her aunt hadn't entered her in the Husky Peach Modeling Challenge. To get out of it, she's forced to launch Operation Skinny Celeste--because, after all, a thin girl can't be a fat model! What Celeste never imagined was that losing weight would help her gain a backbone...or that all she needed to shine was a spotlight. Buy the book!

More About Erin Dionne

Erin Dionne has lived on two coasts and in four states. Her debut novel, Models Don't Eat Chocolate Cookies, was inspired by events that occurred in seventh grade, when she wore a scary peach bridesmaid dress in her cousin's wedding and threw up on her gym teacher's shoes (not at the same event). Although humiliating at the time, these experiences are working for her now. 

Erin lives outside of Boston with her husband and daughter, and a very insistent dog named Grafton. She roots for the Red Sox, teaches English at an art college, and sometimes eats chocolate cookies. Find out more about Erin at

Sunday, February 15, 2009


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Saturday, February 7, 2009

The Padded Bra Story

So, yeah. In 7th grade my "bosom" was more Great Plains  

than Sierra Nevadas. 

I'd been visited by the pimple fairy, the curvy hips fairy, the that-time-of-the-month fairy, the BO fairy, the hairy armpits fairy, but not the boob fairy. And I had PE every day. With boys. Boys with opinions. Boys with loud, obnoxious opinions. About girls. And their boobs or not-so boobs.

So one day I was up in my grandmother's attic, poking around all her old clothes. She'd gone to fashion design school and had tons of cool shoes, handbags, and amazing clothes. 

I opened a drawer full of lacy underthings--silky slips, weird pantyhose with hooks and straps and stuff, and bras I could only dream of wearing (the boob fairy loved my grandma). But at the bottom of the drawer was a thick padded bra. It was kind of old, maybe a tad musty, but, hey, instant cleavage!

I whipped off my shirt and put it on. Wow! I looked amazing. I couldn't wait to show up for school on Monday with my new, improved figure. Yeah, I know, I didn't quite think the whole thing through. Flat on Friday, mounds on Monday...

So, I'm in PE--with all those boys, but I'm feeling pretty good in my snuggish white shirt and baggy blue shorts. And we're on the gym floor in rows doing push-ups. I hated pushups. I hate pushups even more now, but anyway...

The laughter. Big huge guffaw-ha-ha-ha-ha's. From those boys. It took me a few more pushups to clue into the whole, the laughter is coming from behind you, thing.

After all, I had boobs now. Yeah, boobs. Flapping against my sides. My ancient, hook-in-the-front, padded bra had come undone!

"Look! She's wearing a padded bra!" one of the louder, more obnoxious, but, yeah, cuter guys yelled.

I'll just let you imagine the humiliation of trying to re-hook an ancient padded bra while everyone else is moving on to sit-ups. And the boys (and plenty of girls) are still laughing. And the teacher is all, "Sydney, is there a problem?"

Yeah there's a problem!

So the boob fairy did eventually visit. But why couldn't she have come before I found that blippety-blippin' padded bra?

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Guest Nose Stacey Jay!

Today I'd like to welcome Guest Nose, Stacey Jay, author of You Are So Undead To Me.

Stacey, do you have any embarrassing nose moments you'd like to share?

I can't say I've got one super embarrassing "nose" moment. My nose and I have never been on good terms. I've always resented it for having a weird little bump near the top and it has issues with the perfume I've worn since I was twenty so...yeah. It's kind of painful to talk about actually.

So I'll move straight on to my most embarrassing "head" moment. In eighth grade I dressed up as an alien from the movie "Coneheads" with a latex wig cap that I stuffed with cotton so that it stood up in a big cone on top of my head. Everyone said I looked like I was wearing a condom for a hat. It was incredibly embarrassing and the worst part was that I couldn't even take it off because I was having a REALLY bad hair day underneath that wig cap. Tragic. My rep never recovered until we graduated junior high and went on to high school.

Your main character Megan deals with a lot of zombies. Does she have any beauty/fashion tips she'd like to share?


* Wear comfortable shoes. Running in heels is for actress crime-fighter types who worry about their legs looking thinner on camera. Zombies don't care about size. All legs are suitable for "nomming."

* Carry a light, fruity body spray to combat the funky smell of grave dirt. (Avoid musky scents like patchouli that tend to exaggerate The Stank.)

* Ditch the sparkly earrings. You don't want to be the one to test the "zombies are not drawn to shiny objects" theory.

* Take a moment to pull back your hair. Even in cases where protruding ears might draw the attention of flesh-hungry corpses looking for a small, cartilage-y snack, it's still best to have your hair out of your face.

* All black, all the time. It's slimming, blends in with the night, and can easily go from sealing graves to making boys your slaves with just a little lipgloss. (And those sparkly earrings if you can find them. Boys definitely seem to be drawn to shiny objects.)

You can find Megan's Fashion "Do's" in the March issue of Romantic Times Magazine.

More about You Are So Undead To Me:

Megan Berry's social life is so dead. Literally. Fifteen-year-old Megan is a Zombie Settler by birth, which means she's a part-time shrink to a bunch of dead people. All Megan wants is to be normal--and go to homecoming. But someone in school is using black magic to turn average, angsty Undead into flesh-eating Zombies, and it's looking like homecoming will turn out to be a very different kind of party--the bloody kind. Buy the book here.

More about Stacey Jay:

Stacey Jay is a workaholic with three pen names, four kids, and a decidedly macabre sense of humor. She loves zombies, creepies, crawlies, blood, guts, gore, and of course, romance. You Are So Undead To Me, Stacey's debut paranormal YA romance is published by Razorbill books. Find Stacey's website here.

Thanks, Stacey!