Yesterday while leaving the supermarket with four jumbo packs of Cottonelle, I confessed to my teen that I always feel kind of embarrassed when I buy tons of toilet paper, even though everyone uses it, goes to the bathroom...
"Everyone except vampires," she said.
"Really? Vampires NEVER go to the bathroom?"
"It's never mentioned," she said. "Besides what do they have to digest? They use the blood to make up for not having any blood of their own."
"Okay. I guess it makes sense that those perfect vampire guys wouldn't ever leave the seat up."
She laughed, after rolling her eyes. "If you became a vampire, you'd never have to buy toilet paper again."
"I'm going to seriously consider it."
A few hours later, I realized that if I did in fact became a vampire, I wouldn't have to sleep either. Think of all the books I could read! And write... I might do it, but only if I don't have to go to high school for the next 200 years.